Mission 014: Dress up and Demand sweets

Dress up and Demand sweets, also known as my favourite time of the year. Should I introduce myself? I'm sure you've guessed. It's Kate.

Halloween: when it's socially acceptable for girls to lack clothes, kids to take sweets from strangers and adults to wear silly costumes. I don't understand why everyone doesn't love Halloween. 

I originally had decided to be a skeleton this year but I still haven't organised a costume and Halloween is tomorrow. So now I'm between a goth and a widow. Because I have quite a bit of black clothing and make-up. Bit of a down-fall from last year.

I tried to make biscuits today. I burned them. One would think after studying home economics for three and a half years I would be past the point of over cooking food. Nope. Still can't cook sufficiently. O! woe upon my life! how shall I ever woo a wealthy, well respected husband with these despicable culinary skills! O wretched faith thou art the cursed soul of a fallen angel.

I am the fallen angel.
I am the fallen angel.
I am the fallen angel.

Mission 013: Pick the Theme

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DANIEEEEEEELLLLLLE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Has to be the most unadventurous song that is universally known and sung every single day year in year out by people all over the world. So here is a more adventurous alternative.
Also this kind of creepy video.
Happy Birthday Danielle I hope you're enjoying it.

This week's theme is Danielle. Or birthdays. Or something. Whatever, it's not like anyone is going to write anything anyway. I think everyone is aware of the inaccuracies of the word birthday, seeing as we are not all reborn once a year. I think that would be pretty frustrating. You'd have like a year to achieve everything you want in your life before you go back to being a mindless new-born again. Wow. I'm surprisingly grateful that doesn't happen.

I've never liked my birthdays. I know, I know, I've failed at childhood. I think I always expected my birthday to be this incredibly perfect day where everything was amazing. And that doesn't happen. I set my expectations too high and now I have a scarred notion of birthdays in general.

Way to be a downer. I'll do some maths now. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN-I-ELLE! YOUR AWESOMENESS IS ROCKETING SKY HIGH. MAYBE ONE DAY IF YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR AWESOMENESS WILL COME CATCH UP TO MINE!

Mission 011: Tell us the Day

Che Guevara was a Marxist social revolutionary from Argentina. His father was part Irish and his mother Basque.In 1948 he started studying medicine in college but two years later he decided to take a break from his studies to travel. He went on a 4,500 km solo trip through the rural areas of north Argentina on a bicycle that he installed an engine into. If that's not badass enough for you, the following year he went on an 8,000 km motorcycle trek but this time he brought along a friend who is relatively unimportant to this tale.

In Chile Guevara was horrified by the working conditions of copper miners and the poverty experienced by peasant farmers. He wrote an account of his journey entitled The Motorcycle Diaries which became a New York Times best seller and was made into a film in 2004. I now really want to both read and watch it.

Guevara was later a main player into the rise of Fidel Castro to power in Cuba. He became close friends with Castro and was the minister for industry during his rule. He joined Castro's revolutionary group and worked for equality among American classes. In 1965 Guevara travelled to Africa to share his knowledge of Guerilla warfare to the ongoing conflict in Congo.

On this day, October 9th, in 1967 while in Bolivia he was captured by the CIA and executed. His hands were cut off as proof of his death and he was buried in an unmarked grave. This was an attempt to suppress communism and socialism and to maintain a social hierarchy of class and race.

He's not a figure of perfection though. It's thought that as supreme prosecutor during Castro's reign he orchestrated the show trials and ordered the execution of hundreds of military leaders and civilians associated with the previous leader.

This has been history week and I have been you're educator Kate of Wednesday, known to some as Kate the Reliable but more commonly known as O Mighty Kate of the Mysterious and Far Off Land.
Remember you can trust me, I'm the reliable one.

MISSION............................................................COMPLETED

Mission 010: Fill the Gap

My Dearest Bosomed Bloggers,

This is simply getting embarrassing. You can all rag on me for never doing my homework but at least I haven't missed a blog post. Sort out your priorities guys.

It has been an entire week since I've put up a post and yet mine is still the most recent. I hope you all realise that now that I finally have something to brag about I won't be letting it go easily. I'll be ninety years old and my grandchildren will be obnoxious little shits telling me I'm boring and have never done anything with my life. I'll tell them that when I was sixteen years old I had a collab blog and I was the only member who never missed a single day. I overcame the greatest struggles known to a teenager and became a hero of my time.

I'm currently constructing a Halloween themed playlist. I can't decide whether I want it creepy or sort of fun halloween-y songs. I'll probably end up doing two separate ones because I mean, I only have four A4 pages of Irish to learn along with 11 units of spanish vocabulary. I've got all the time in the world to kill.

Yours in faithful patience,
Kate of Wednesday

Mission 009: Write a blog in 5 minutes

Not only do we have a lack of themes today but also a lack of introductions. I haven't the time for it.

On a better day i might take advantage of not having a theme and do something cool. Today is not a better day. As y'all know this week is energise week in school which basically means we get to miss classes for a day and do an adult's definition of 'educational fun'

It was actually alright though to be fair. Hip-hop, a lecture on my the irish language is important, hip-hop for a second hour, hair styling, 'the sheep and the followers' (peer pressure lecture) and self defense.

Hip-hop = 4/5 stars
Irish = 5/5 stars (just because Mr. O' Caoimh. What can I say he's adorbs.)
Hair-styling = 1/5 stars (it only got the one for not having to have anyone touch my hair)
The sheep and the followers = 1/5 (because it posed a couple of interesting questions. well maybe one.)
Self-defense = 4/5 really good but it's a bit silly that they're teaching us how to defend ourselves without letting us have practical experience. They just talked to us.

After 2 hours of study I went to my graduation of the No Name club (don't even ask about the name) which only served to remind me why I hated it so much last year. The aim of the club is to show young people that they can have a good social life without alcohol. For me it only convinced me I'll never be able to socialise unless I'm so wasted that I forget to filter any of my thoughts and everything just floods out my mouth.
That's what you call ironically counterproductive if you ask me.

MISSION...........................................................COMPLETED

Mission 002: Dig Up Some Dirt

Greetings fellow readers! It is I, Kate, your fun loving Wednesday correspondent!
This week we're talking about weird news stories. I found so many that I really wanted to write about that I'm going to do another on my personal blog which is on tumblr and blogspot now. Blogspot is more likely to be up to date though.

Fifty-something year old Joseph Corlett wrote a journal as part of a university assignment which he handed up to his professor. Students were encouraged to be creative and write about whatever they wanted in this journal. So naturally, being a human being, Corlett decided to write about how sexy his professor was, her "stacked" body, and her "sexy little mole on her upper lip." He also makes repeated reference to the fact that he was drinking while writing. His entire journal can be seen here.
His professor then reported his behaviour as harassment and Corbett was suspended from school. But the story doesn't end there. Outraged, Corbett sued the school, claiming his First Amendment right to freedom of speech was being infringed upon. The judge however ruled that telling your college professor in writing that she is "stacked" and gives you a boner is not speech legally protected by the First Amendment.

Clearly there were much better ways for Corbett to go about expressing his attraction to his teacher but when you tell your students they can write about whatever they want, you need to be prepared for some weird stuff. However I do think Corbett deserved the repercussions the university gave him. He asked in his journal for his teacher's confidence in the things he was writing to her which was completely unfair and must have made the professor really uncomfortable. I mean he may not have taken it any further once she made it clear she wasn't interested in him but she was still right in reporting him, of course.

Now some more uplifting news involving a millionaire stripper. Yep.
33 year old, Tara Mishra, started her career as an exotic dancer when she was just 18 years young. Her dream to open a New Jersey nightclub encouraged her to start saving and just 15 years later she felt she had gotten enough money together. In March 2012 she was stopped for speeding and police were given permission to search the car. Over one million dollars were found stored in $10,000 bundles in plastic bags.
Understandably, the police assumed it was drug money and Mishra and her friends were arrested.
In July 2013 a judge ruled that her million dollars worth of life savings be paid back to her with interest.

Excuse my french, but how the fuck do you earn 1 million dollars (!) from dancing. Like seriously, why is stripping a job that is so frowned upon? Some people are smart, so they use their brain to get a good paying job. Some people are beautiful so why is it a big deal that they use their body to get a job that pays better than so many qualification jobs. (And clearly neither of these are necessarily independant of the other.)  Society guys. It's fucked up. I'm starting to think maybe I should give up on school and go get some dance lessons.

That's all from me, folks! See you same time, same place next Wednesday!

Kate

Mission 001: Invade their Privacy

I’ll have you know, this is the fifth attempt I’ve made at writing an introduction because each time it has just turned into a damp sod of misery.

So this time I plan to take a double Cheery-pacino and show how much fun I am!!!!!!!!!!!

The exclamation marks rate how fun I am out of 10. As you can see, I'm an eleven.

WOOOOOH! introductions! Are you excited? Cos man, I’m so fucking excited.

Hi I’m Kate and I will be your guide today and every Wednesday until I lose the temporary motivation my imaginary coffee has given me and decide I just want to watch re-runs of Malcom in the Middle and eat ice-cream. (I totally forgot how much I love that show.)

You think this has gotten depressing already? You should read the first four, they’d make you want to eat junk food and watch 90’s comedy shows. (On the topic of 90’s comedies - why are they so much better than Naughties comedy?)

Anyway I don’t want to list out my interests and whatever because that doesn’t make for a very entertaining read unless you write like a God, which I don’t.

Also I don’t particularly like how people are defined by the things they like rather than how they think about stuff, which I think is more interesting. But then again it’s more difficult to introduce someone to your way of thinking. That sort of just happens over time. Maybe that’s what I’m trying to do right now as I ramble on and avoid the actual topic of introducing myself.

Let’s throw you a bone, shall I?

My current obsession is supernatural goings on and ‘real’ magic.

Last weekend I went to a haunted house, Loftus House in Wexford - a fun day out for all the family! (I promised you fun didn’t I?)

The devil himself allegedly visited the house in 1756. Hopefully I will post a blog about it soon on my personal blog insearchofthought.tumblr.com.

(First blog post and I’m already shamelessly self-promoting. Whoop whoop! btw brackets also represent fun lolololol. I need to stop this.)

I’m also sort of stalking Keith Barry at the moment, who if you didn’t know is a world renowned Mentalist, Hypnotist and Magician hailing from my beautiful country Ireland in the county of Waterford. So I’m trying to make up my mind on how much of this crazy shit I believe in because it’s clear that some really freaky stuff goes on in the world.

So there. I think I’ve sufficiently covered the topic of introduction without revealing very much about myself, so it seems my work here is done for the week.

MISSION............................................COMPLETED


Edit: I just discovered Malcom in the Middle was actually from 2000-2006. Who would've guessed? Probably anyone bothered to Google it.